This will be my first Christmas without my Mom. I have always been raised to believe that family was the most important thing...not just on holidays but especially then. I will always remember how much Mom loved Christmas. It really was her favorite time of the year. She always loved picking out and buying gifts for all the children. But more than that she loved watching them open the gifts and seeing how their faces lit up. She took more joy from that than she did from opening her own gifts. I think she often enjoyed it more than the kids did opening their own gifts.
Growing up I knew that we weren’t rich. But nobody would ever think we were poor. And come Christmastime my Mom always made sure that I got some good presents. I may not have always gotten what I hoped for, but I always got something I liked. I am reminded of one Christmas when I asked my Mom for a saddle for Christmas. Mom asked me why I wanted a saddle, given that we didn't own a horse. I told Mom if I had a saddle, I could lay it over our corral-style fence and pretend I had a horse. My Mom said if I could pretend that fence was a horse then I could pretend a blanket was a saddle, and gave me an old blanket.
Yet, somehow, she never left me feeling like I had done without anything I really wanted or needed. My Mom did without nice things for most of her adult life but always made sure I had nice things. And I could always see how much it meant to her to see me happy. I never doubted that. As I got older I came to know how she felt. I always took greater pleasure in watching family members open their gifts, especially gifts from me, than opening my own gifts.
Thinking about this holiday without my Mother in it for the first time in my life has reminded me of the importance of family. Through thick and thin, they are the ones who will always be there for you. And they will love you and accept you with all your faults and imperfections. And that’s what this holiday means to me. It’s a time to remember and show how much you love and appreciate your family. And forgive whatever petty disagreements you may have had throughout the year and just focus on the good times you have shared.
And I would like to extend that to my adopted family. All the friends, close and casual, that I have met throughout the years. So Merry Christmas to all my family, by blood and by choice, and may the new year bring you all Peace, Love, Health and Happiness. I love you all.
Merry Christmas, Mom. I miss you.
