Requiem

I am at a loss. I still can’t believe the news I heard yesterday. I am getting used to hearing about old friends and acquaintances passing away. But when you hear about three in one day, it hits so much harder. It’s overwhelming.

Yesterday, while skimming over my social media feeds, I came across a familiar face. Somebody had posted a picture of Todd Gillingham, a former professional Hockey player with whom I was acquainted many years ago, when we were both much younger and still active in the game. The picture was accompanied by the caption, “1970-2023.” I was shocked. I remembered Gilly as such a happy-go-lucky guy…he always brightened my day every time I saw him. I didn’t know him well. We were never on the same team together. The closest we came was when he played for the Phoenix Roadrunners the year after I had left the team. I always knew him as a visiting player, mostly with the San Diego Gulls and Salt Lake City Golden Eagles. Nevertheless, he greeted me with a big smile and a hearty hello every time I saw him. He was one of those guys who just always seemed happy to be doing what he was doing, like he never had a bad day. And that was infectious. I don’t recall ever interacting with him where I didn’t end up smiling. He was a really good dude.

I don’t know how he died. No details were given and I hadn’t heard anything about him being sick, so I have no idea. What I do know is that the world is a darker place without him. I will miss him. But I thought about him yesterday and it made me smile. Cheers, Gilly.

Moments later, I saw a post about Ryan Pisiak. Again, I never worked with Pisiak and knew him only as a visiting player. But I remember him as a well-respected tough guy with the Louisiana Ice Gators of the ECHL and the Austin Ice Bats of the WPHL. I didn’t know him much at all, mostly just by reputation. But I know he was well-regarded by those who knew him. Again, I don’t know what caused his death; only that he was much too young. Rest in Peace, Ryan.

The last gut punch came with the news of Gino Odjick’s passing. I never met Gino, but of course I knew who he was. Everybody who followed Hockey in the '90s knew who he was. He was a bit of a legend. He played 12 years in the NHL, most of it with the Vancouver Canucks. Like Gillingham and Pisiak, he was a tough guy and those guys tend to be well-liked. They also tend to be really personable guys. Some of the nicest men I’ve met have been some of the toughest Hockey players I’ve known. 

Unlike the others, I knew that Gino had been sick for a while. His diagnosis for amyloidosis had been made public, and it has been known for some time that he probably did not have much longer to live. That being said, I think he hung in there longer than a lot of people expected. In the end, he died of a heart attack, his heart having been weakened by his condition. 

It’s tough enough to keep hearing about people we respect and admire passing away, despite the knowledge that we all will eventually come to the end of our time on Earth. But it seems exceptionally cruel to have three fall in one day. It just doesn’t seem real. It can’t be real. But…somehow it is. I am at a loss. I don’t know what else to say. 

Rest in Peace, Gentlemen. You will be missed.

Merry Christmas

This will be my first Christmas without my Mom. I have always been raised to believe that family was the most important thing...not just on holidays but especially then. I will always remember how much Mom loved Christmas. It really was her favorite time of the year. She always loved picking out and buying gifts for all the children. But more than that she loved watching them open the gifts and seeing how their faces lit up. She took more joy from that than she did from opening her own gifts. I think she often enjoyed it more than the kids did opening their own gifts. 

Growing up I knew that we weren’t rich. But nobody would ever think we were poor. And come Christmastime my Mom always made sure that I got some good presents. I may not have always gotten what I hoped for, but I always got something I liked. I am reminded of one Christmas when I asked my Mom for a saddle for Christmas. Mom asked me why I wanted a saddle, given that we didn't own a horse. I told Mom if I had a saddle, I could lay it over our corral-style fence and pretend I had a horse. My Mom said if I could pretend that fence was a horse then I could pretend a blanket was a saddle, and gave me an old blanket. 

Yet, somehow, she never left me feeling like I had done without anything I really wanted or needed. My Mom did without nice things for most of her adult life but always made sure I had nice things. And I could always see how much it meant to her to see me happy. I never doubted that. As I got older I came to know how she felt. I always took greater pleasure in watching family members open their gifts, especially gifts from me, than opening my own gifts. 

Thinking about this holiday without my Mother in it for the first time in my life has reminded me of the importance of family. Through thick and thin, they are the ones who will always be there for you. And they will love you and accept you with all your faults and imperfections. And that’s what this holiday means to me. It’s a time to remember and show how much you love and appreciate your family. And forgive whatever petty disagreements you may have had throughout the year and just focus on the good times you have shared. 

And I would like to extend that to my adopted family. All the friends, close and casual, that I have met throughout the years. So Merry Christmas to all my family, by blood and by choice, and may the new year bring you all Peace, Love, Health and Happiness. I love you all.

Merry Christmas, Mom. I miss you.

Never Forget

It’s important to remember 9/11. It’s important to remember that our Nation was attacked in a most cowardly fashion by terrorists on that day, resulting in the deaths of over 3,000 people. It’s important to remember that there are still people around the world that wish to do us harm simply because we are Americans, and that those people don’t care who they maim or murder in their quest to achieve their goals of destroying our Nation. 

But it’s even more important to remember the aftermath of the attacks on 9/11. Americans put their differences aside and came together as countrymen. Many first responders marched into the towers and into the face of danger to help their fellow man. Many of them lost their lives in doing so. Many at the sites of the attacks came together to help their neighbors escape the fiery crucible, or to comfort them in their final moments. Many people from around the Nation (and, in fact, the world) volunteered their time and energy to help out in any way they could. People from all over descended upon New York City to help in the rescue/recovery efforts, working tirelessly to free people trapped in the rubble. Many people offered their money, their time, their compassion and empathy, and anything else to help those affected by the attacks. 

We were all proud to be Americans and were able to put our petty differences aside and support each other and mourn and grieve all as one. Nobody cared if you were Republican or Democrat, gay or straight, black or white, rich or poor. We were all in it together.  

Americans have always been able to put aside our differences in times of national crisis. We have always been galvanized and made stronger together when facing difficult times. That has been a defining trait of Americans.  

Now, more than ever, we need to find that ability within us and come together as a Nation. We are facing a crisis unprecedented in our history. We need to come together as Americans, or we will be destroyed as individuals. We need to figure out a way to work together for the betterment of all. We need to find a way to support each other. We need to learn to treat our fellow countrymen as neighbors, and not as enemies. I have never seen such rabid animosity for people who are different. Our Nation was founded on the principle of people coming here from different places, with different backgrounds, and different beliefs and building a home where we could all live and thrive. 

I believe with all my heart that we can get back there. I know that it starts with letting go of hate and reaching out with Love. I do believe that Love can conquer all.  

My Top 5: Bill Murray Roles

My Top 5: Bill Murray roles 

I am a big fan of Bill Murray. Since I first saw him on Saturday Night Live he has rarely disappointed me. Nearly every role he takes on becomes a memorable character. He just jumps off the screen, bigger than life.  

With so many memorable roles, it would be very hard to pick just 5 favorites. But these 5 are the ones that made the biggest impressions on me. So, in honor of his 69th birthday, here are my Top 5 (in no particular order, of course). 

1. 1. Carl Spackler, Caddyshack: 
2. 
   
4. 
   

2. 2. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters:  
3. 
   
5. 
   

3. 3. John Winger, Stripes: 
4. 
   
6. 
   

4. 4. Ernie McCracken, Kingpin: 
5. 
   
7. 
   

5. 5. Frank Cross, Scrooged: 
6. 
   

My Top 5: Tragically Hip Songs

I was saddened by the loss of Tom Petty a couple of weeks ago. I loved a lot of his music, had owned a couple of his albums, and watched many of his videos, and loved listening to and singing (and playing) many of his songs.  

This morning I awoke to the news of Gord Downie's passing. I wasn't shocked, because we had heard of his brain cancer diagnosis months ago. In a way, we've already grieved for Gord when we wept at the band's final live performance in Kingston, Ontario. While remaining hopeful, many of us had prepared for the inevitable.  

Still, it hurts. Knowing he's gone hurts. I guess we can take comfort in the fact that he's no longer in pain. I'm a man of faith so I believe that he's in a better place now. I think my sadness is not so much for him, but selfishly for me because I know now that there will be no more Tragically Hip music. And that is heartbreaking. 

I first became acquainted with the Tragically Hip when I began working in Hockey. There is probably not a Hockey locker room anywhere that hasn't echoed with the sound of the Hip. They were the unofficial house band for Canada, and for all Canadian Hockey players. But you didn't have to be Canadian to appreciate their music. I'm not Canadian, but I can relate to the Tragically Hip. Their music is not just about Canada, but about the common man...and that's something most of us can relate to.  

But above that, the music is beautiful. It's wonderful music played by great musicians. It carries a good and powerful message, but it's still entertaining and pleasing to the ear. That's not easy to do, but Gord and the Hip did it better than most. 

We will miss Gord not only for his music, but for the amazing person that he was. But I've been listening to his music all morning, and trying to figure out my Top 5 list of Tragically Hip songs. It's very difficult, but I'll give it a shot. This is for you, Gord. Rest in Peace. 

1. 1. Grace, Too: 
3. 
   

2. 2. Ahead by a Century:  
4. 
   

3. 3. Wheat Kings: 
5. 
   

4. 4. Fifty Mission Cap: 
6. 
   
7. 5. Blow at High Dough: 

So, there is my Top 5 List. What is yours?